Things about Divorce You Won’t Learn in Self-Help Books

Posted on Jan 30 2014 - 1:58am by Cathy Brunetti

trusted divorce attorneyDespite all the temptations that prowl in the Big City, New York has one of the lowest divorce rates in the US, which dropped even lower in Queens and Brooklyn. This is because divorce cases in Queens and other parts of the city are harder to get than in other states. So if you’re planning to get divorce, you should look for one of the most experienced attorneys in your area.

To guide you through this challenging stage, here are some things you need to know before filing for divorce:

Know the Decision-Making Process

Always remember that no-fault laws and the pressure on judges to move cases through the system immediately mean you’ll get a little chance to testify. If you get an opportunity to testify, the judge will only hear a few minutes of your story and then make a decision that affects the rest of your life. So ask yourself if you’re fine with that process before filing for divorce.

Set Your Intentions Straight

Know whom you want to be when your divorce is over. If your main priority is your kids, make sure your actions and decisions are in their best interests, not just yours. Don’t jump into conclusions and rush to decisions. After all, it took you years to be in that place, so don’t expect to solve everything in a short period.

Use Your Professional Fees Wisely

Address your legal queries to a lawyer and your psychological questions to a therapist or counselor. Be organized and write down your questions beforehand. It’s advisable to keep a journal so your papers stay in one place.

Try Other Options than an Immediate Adversarial Position

More than 90% of all divorce cases settle before they go to trial, so try mediation before taking an argumentative position. If mediation is not for you, study with your trusted Queens divorce attorney if collaborative divorce or arbitration is a better option. Before you file for a divorce, think of your goals for the outcome. Make good decisions in choosing how to file, what the best options are, and how to proceed with the case.

No amount of guidelines and self-help books can prepare you for divorce. At the end of the day, all you need to do is stay true to yourself. Hold your head high and fight for what you believe in, regardless of what will happen in the court proceedings.